Are you ready to make a change to become more fulfilled?

Today I was catching up with a dear Italian friend. We used to work together in a global company during a challenging time of integration, shutting down offices and digital transformation. We found light in each other, despite the atmosphere and pressure at work, we recognised our similar values of being kind, wanting to help others, caring about quality and loving being with people. When you meet a similar soul on your path, you feel that you resonate with each other and it’s as if you have never been apart when you reconnect!

My friend has recently left this big company. Over the last 18 months he has had a sad experience of shutting down a once vibrant, friendly and fun office. He has gone from once having a spring in his step going to work to struggling to get out of bed. Finding any motivation was tough. He felt grumpy and it increasingly affected his mood. Feeling frustrated, he felt his life force dulled.

Thankfully, he also has always managed to find a way to have a positive outlook, despite the circumstances around him. He dreamt of a better way of being, recognising his innate skills and gifts he could share with his industry. He and a business partner talked about combining their skills to offer something special to the world.

With some renewed energy and when his contract ended in December last year, he started to make contact with people he knows, who he has a natural connection with. He shared the positive vision for what he can offer. Here’s what he found happened:

• He has been open hearted, with postivity and hopefulness when communicating

• He always receives a sincere and helpful response, whether or not there is a business opportunity

• He has faith, as well as trust in his own abilities

• He contacts people when they came into his awareness

• He has trusted his intuition and gut instinct all along

• He is sowing seeds of possibility with each interaction, with no attachment to the outcome

• He does not push or pressurise for results, he allows things to unfurl naturally, with attention and calm focus

• He has enjoyed every connection he has made

• He feels full of gratitude for each opportunity that has arisen (which means that there is no space for fear or anxiety)

• He makes time to walk with his wife 3 times a week in a beautiful place for an hour and a half, no interruptions and experiences connection, peace and tranquility

• He has had offers coming to him in a meaningful way

• He is an inspiration to those around him, who feel stuck in their unhappy position at their current company. Sure they have regular pay check, but have to deal with frustration, politics, helplessness and malaise

• He prepared for this move, by saving while he could and being sensible about outgoings

“We talked about his vision for his business, and how to put it into a vision board. He will smile inside each time he looks at it ”

— 😊

We agreed that a key ingredient of success is being '“in action'“, having a momentum and connecting with people you know. The being “in action” keeps your confidence up and growing, whilst sharing with others in your circle creates ideas sharing and connections that go wider than you believe possible. Procrastination trying to make things perfect is the opposite to this way of being. If you catch yourself in this mode, well done! It will keep you stuck. Sure it will also keep you safe as starting a new career or making a big change is an unknown. Would you rather be stuck, frustrated, depressed and safe, or free, purposeful, energised with a bit of risk?! A leap of faith does take courage, for sure. Having people around you to support you makes a huge difference.

“Being “in action”, sharing news about your new venture and keeping in touch with your connections are the secret sauce for serendipity and success.”

— Alex Russell-Stoneham

I have never seen my friend so happy, fulfilled and unburdened. Sure, things sometimes don’t always go to plan, or 100% of the time work out the way he hopes. Instead of taking it personally, he learns from it, finds the growth medicine and moves on.

I am so grateful to hear his story. His story is my story. I hope it can become your story too…

Are you heading for Burnout? Are you surviving, not thriving?

Heading for a burnout…

We have all been in this place, where everyday life takes hold, it can even feel like a stranglehold. There is just so much stuff to get through, so many responsibilities and a never-ending To Do list. Getting stuck in this place can lead us down the path of stress, overwhelm and ultimately burnout.

We feel so busy, in a constant mode of ‘Doing’, we forget how to just ‘Be’.

Recently, after a burnout from overwork and being overcommitted, life forced me to take stock, step right back and evaluate how far I had stepped into this mode of ‘Doing’ on an endless Rinse, Repeat cycle. I had got so used to it, it felt normal to work 14 hours a day, there was so much work to do and it became the new normal.

When my body, mind and spirit shouted in unison ‘STOP!!!’ I felt empty, numb in a state of shock and so drained. I started to realise how much I had allowed work, which I loved, to seep into all aspects of my personal life, to the point where there weren’t any boundaries between the two. My life was completely blended. Thankfully, I had help - a loving family, access to an amazing counsellor and wonderful friends.

Burnout Symptoms

The recovery path has been a profound one, a burnout is an easy word to say, quite a big pit to end up in, where nerves feel frazzled, the mind can’t seem to focus on much, the feelings and emotions feel invisible and hard to reach and the most minor thing that doesn’t go right can lead to a meltdown of epic proportions. Fragility, anxiety and low mood to the point of depression become normal as the slow climb back to self begins. I have learned a huge amount and have been humbled.

Superwoman is not a good listener

I now know I can no longer act in full ‘SuperWoman’ mode. It can feel good, be impressive and can suit high achievers, but SuperWoman doesn’t listen to the quiet inner voice that may have a question over the unsustainable pace of life.

Processing Stress

I have learned that stress, or any emotional response, needs to go in, be felt, processed and released out. I was unwittingly letting stress in but not allowing any time at all to process it. BIG lesson there!

Reconnecting with your emotions

When we are in ‘Being’ mode, when an emotional response does arise, we can allow ourselves to connect with it. This means noticing it, feeling where it is experienced in your body, talking or writing about how it feels and allowing time to pass, gently, free from judgement. Taking a breath, deeply allows us to pause and feel present, connected with what we are feeling in the moment and recognising the experience then noticing it subside. If we practice this, emotions can become familiar, recognised and can be processed healthily, even if they feel uncomfortable. Emotions need oxygen, to be seen in the light of day and to be recognised, witnessed and allowed to process through, then out.

Be Kind to Yourself

You are recovering from a burnout. You absolutely don’t need any pressure to speed it up! Make your morning rituals a non-negotiable. Self care wasn’t even possible previously, no time. Now I can’t start the day without my ‘Morning Pages’ journal (Julia Cameron - The Artist’s Way), my morning hot lemon drink, bath with Epsom salts and essential oils and my connect with my inner self and Mother Earth. Taking care of yourself can take many forms. You will know what works for you. Write down any ‘little wins’ to mark moments that are positive. The incremental build of these moments and positive experiences are what helps you to recover.

Ask for Help

Support can come in many forms. Allowing vulnerability in is key to allowing help and support to find you.

Book a complimentary Discovery Call with Alex Russell-Stoneham to learn more about Intentional Life Design Click Here